


Refuge

by BestDeadFriendsForever



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Canon Era, I might add to this but I don't know, Jack-Centric, Pre-Canon, Snapshots, and about Jack's time in The Refuge, just me musing about how Jack and Medda met
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BestDeadFriendsForever/pseuds/BestDeadFriendsForever
Summary: Jack is nine years old the first time he escapes The Refuge. Jack is nine years old when he meets Miss Medda Larkin for the first time. Jack is nine years old when his life changes, just a little.





	1. Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is nine years old the first time he escapes The Refuge. Jack is nine years old when he meets Miss Medda Larkin for the first time. Jack is nine years old when his life changes, just a little.

            Jack felt his head pounding as he ran as fast as his bloody, bare feet could take him. He was disoriented by being suddenly in the full brightness of the sunshine, but he had to keep going because he could hear the guys chasing him. They were chasing him and if Jack didn’t get away they were going to shove him back into that tiny room and leave him there to die. Jack hopped a small pop-up stall that an elderly man had set up at the mouth of an alley. Jack had to force himself not to flinch as his feet came down hard on the concrete. He rounded the back corner of the building and counted it as a blessing that the fire escape ladder was pulled down into the alley. Jack scrambled up it and he fell into the open window that was right there.

            He curled up in the dark corner that he’d been, thankfully, tucked into. He could hear the men who’d been chasing him, but none of them climbed up the ladder. They shouted and cussed in the alley before Jack heard their voices fade and then fall silent. Jack hadn’t realized he was shaking until he went to push his overly long hair from his eyes. He couldn’t push himself up to stand yet, so he just sat and kept himself curled up really small.

            He hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He swung out blindly and was met with only the startled glance of a woman who’d taken a step back to avoid his small fist.

            “Hey, sugar. It ain’t polite to take swings at ladies,” the woman said, pouting.

            Jack just blinked at the lady owlishly. He couldn’t talk. He didn’t want to, and he had lost his voice from screaming and crying so long ago.

            “Well?” The lady asked. Jack just blinked and she sighed heavily. “C’mon, sugar. Let’s take you to the lady in charge and see what she wants to do wit’ ya.” The lady, which when Jack caught a look at her face he realized she couldn’t be too much older than him, held out her hand and Jack flinched back away from her. She gave him a sympathetic look. “I ain’t gonna hurt ya, sweetie. C’mon.”

            Jack didn’t take her hand, but he stood and waited for her to walk so he could follow her. She nodded and started to head downstairs; Jack following on shaky legs. They were halfway down the stairs from the catwalk, which is where Jack had crashed, when there was another voice calling to them.

            “Hey! No kids in the theatre!”

            Jack’s head whipped up to look at just about the prettiest woman Jack had ever seen, aside from what little he remembered of his Mama. Jack shifted on his feet and tried to, reflexively, swipe the grime off his face.

            “I’m sorry, but I found him curled up sleepin’ on the catwalk. Thought we should figure out what to do wit’ ‘im,” the girl said and fidgeted with her short skirt. “He don’t look so good.”

            “C’mere, baby,” the pretty lady said and she knelt down to be closer to Jack’s height. Jack shuffled forward but kept his chin tilted down so that he didn’t have to meet the lady’s eyes. He startled and jerked away when he felt a hand brush his chin. His eyes darted up to meet the lady’s dark ones. She sucked in a breath and Jack could see the way she was seeing him. He was covered in dirt and grime and dried blood. He knew he had bruises on his face, and his lip was still swollen from where he’d been slapped the day before last. He squirmed uncomfortably under the woman’s gentle gaze. “Alright, let’s get you cleaned up and see if there’s a little boy under all that dirt.” She held out her hand and Jack hesitantly put his hand inside hers. It was so soft and Jack cringed when he noticed the way the dirt from his hands was smearing across her clean ones. But she didn’t seem to mind.

            She guided him into an airy room and sat him down at a fancy vanity. Jack recoiled at seeing his own reflection. His hair was matted with blood at the side of his head while the rest of it stood on end in wild waves. His eyes had dark rings under them and at this point Jack wasn’t sure if it was from beatings or lack of sleep. His cheekbones stood out unhealthily under the layers of filth.

            The lady hummed a light tune as she poured water into a basin and carried it over, a soft looking towel slung over her shoulder. She sang lightly as she wet the towel and gently set to work cleaning up Jack’s face. Jack shrunk down in the chair as she gently scrubbed at his skin.

            Jack sat in silence as she sang in a clear voice. “There,” she said with a flourish. Jack glanced at the mirror and was shocked to see how clean his face looked. He wasn’t sure he ever remembered being this clean. “It seems there _was_ a little boy under all that dirt.” She gently tweaked his nose and smiled at him. “Now, why don’t you tell me why you were hiding up in my catwalk?”

            Jack fidgeted for a moment and debated answering. He swallowed thickly before he opened his mouth. “I was runnin’ away.”

            “From what?”

            “I busted outta The Refuge,” Jack admitted quietly and twisted his fingers in his sun-faded and dirt stained shirt.

            “That group home down the street?” She asked.

            “It’s like prison!” Jack said and his voice cracked. He felt his eyes burning but he swallowed down the urge to cry. “I can’t go back there! Don’t make me!”

            “Shh,” She hushed and patted Jack’s knee. “I won’t send you back there. Don’t worry, you’re with Medda now.” Jack swiped at his eyes and sniffed. His heart was still hammering against his ribs, but he felt a little more at ease. “Alright, you can stay here tonight, but tomorrow we’re gonna have to figure out what to do with you. That sound square?”

            Jack nodded and he pushed his hair away from his eyes.

            “Alright, now finish gettin’ you cleaned up and get you some clothes.” Medda patted his knee and stood to get to it.

…..

            Jack ran his hand through his newly cut hair. His hair had always had a wave to it, but now that it wasn’t weighed down with knots and blood, it was curling up in neat little c’s. Miss Medda had even managed to find a shirt and pants for him to wear. They were a little big but Jack just cuffed them.

            Miss Medda had told Jack to stay put, but Jack had scrounged up a scrap of paper and a pencil from a table in the corner and snuck out. He was swinging his legs from where he was sitting on the catwalk. He was watching the pretty young ladies on the stage. They were singing and dancing and their costumes were flashy and the skimpiest things that Jack had ever seen. He was sketching the girls as quickly as he could because they didn’t stay still long.

            Jack jumped when someone settled down next to him. It was Miss Medda and Jack shrunk back, afraid that she was going to get angry and hit him. “It’s just me,” Medda said and patted Jack’s shoulder.

            “Okay,” Jack said and sighed a little in relief.

            “Enjoying the view up here?” Medda asked.

            Jack nodded and clutched his scrap of paper and pencil.

            “Might I see?” Medda asked and nodded toward the drawing in Jack’s hand. Jack chewed his lip and hesitantly held out his drawing. He noticed that his hand was shaking as Medda gently took the paper from his fingers. “This is really good.” Medda smile and glanced down at where the girls that Jack had been sketching were blowing kisses and exiting the stage. “How old are you?”

            “Seven,” Jack lied on instinct. He looked down at his feet and then took a breath. “Nine, actually. Nearly ten.”

            “Why say seven?” Medda asked.

            “Before they locked me up, I hawked papes. If they thinks you’s younger they’s’ll give ya more money for your papes.” Jack shrugged.

            “Where did you live when you were hawking papes?”

            “On fire escapes or alleys mostly,” Jack shrugged.

            “What about your folks?” Medda asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

            “Ain’t got folks no more,” Jack shrugged even though his eyes burned.

            Medda just nodded and then she gently patted Jack’s shoulder. “C’mon, baby. Let’s get you into bed, little guy like you outta be sleepin’ at a time like this.”

…..

            Jack was twelve or thirteen now; he didn’t really keep great track of his age as much because he was always lying about it anyway. He’d been sneaking some food, which he’d stolen because food is expensive and he can barely afford to eat himself, into The Refuge for some of the kids he knew were in there, and for the others.

            One minute he’d been smiling, the next he’d been hit hard in the back of the head and had sliced open his chin on the ledge of the window.

            “Got you, Kelly.” It was Snyder.

            Jack’s head was reeling from the hard knock and he could barely coordinate his limbs enough to fight back. He tried to pry Snyder’s hands off him but he couldn’t and finally he just let himself be dragged inside and tossed into a tiny room with about twelve other boys.

            “Dammit,” Jack muttered and he swiped the blood from his chin.

            It paced for a while and tried to see if there was any way out. None. Jack’s chin was still dripping blood and every so often he swiped his hand over it. It stung so badly it made Jack’s eyes water and his stomach turn.

            “Hey, kid!”

            Jack turned and squinted to try and get his eyes to adjust to the darkness. “What?”

            “C’mere and lemme look at that.” Jack nodded and went over to the boy that was sitting on one of the bottom bunks. The boy had a kind face and crooked glasses. “What’s your name?” He asked and tilted Jack’s chin so he could see with what little light there was from the window.

            “Jack Kelly,” Jack said and hissed when the boy prodded at his skin.

            “ _The_ Jack Kelly?” He asked, eyes wide.

            “They’s only one o’ me,” Jack grinned but it quickly turned into a grimace. “What ‘bout you, kid?”

            “They call me, Specs.” That’s all he said until he’d gotten the bleeding stopped and checked Jack the rest of the way out. “That cut’s real deep, Jack. Might leave a scar.”

            Jack shrugged. “It gonna kill me?”

            “I doubt it.”

            “Then alright,” Jack said and pushed his hair from his eyes. “I’s gonna take a quick rest, and then I’ll start workin’ on a plan for gettin’ outta here.”

            “Sure thing,” Specs said and he seemed skeptical. Jack just leaned against one of the posts that supported the top bunk and closed his eyes. He didn’t sleep for very long, but he felt a little better when he woke up. His chin throbbed but he ignored it as he got up. “You’s really gonna try and get outta here?”

            “I’s done it before,” Jack said and he moved to the door, pressing his ear to it to see if he could hear any guards.

            “We know,” Specs said. “You’s famous here. I thought some of the kids’d made ya up.”

            “I’s real,” Jack grinned at Specs. Then he frowned. “Who’s been tellin’ you about me?” Jack had hoped that anyone he knew would have been out of there by now.

            “A guy named Blink, but he’s got out a while back. Same way he said you did it,” Specs said. Jack nodded. Blink was a year or two younger than him but was already tough as nails.

            “Yeah, I know Blink.” Jack said. “I know a way I can get some of yous out, but it ain’t gonna be easy.”

            “We’s been in here for a while, Jack Kelly. We don’t know what easy is no more.”

            Jack nodded. He could see how the light in these kids eyes had dimmed. He remembered looking like this for a while after he’d met Miss Medda. “I’m gonna get ya outta here, Specs. Promise.”

            Jack pulled out the hairpin that he always kept tucked into his boot. He slid it into the lock and after a few minutes of twisting and fiddling, the lock on the door clicked open. Jack turned to the kids that were now all staring at him.

            “Alright, yous’ll have ta be quiet, and listen to everything I tell ya to do. I’m gonna try and get us outta here,” Jack said. He took his hairpin back and tucked it back into his boot. “C’mon.” Jack opened the door quietly and slipped out into the hall. There wasn’t anyone around.

            Snyder had some guards, but he couldn’t have too many or the place would start to look like exactly what it was. Snyder wanted to keep this quiet. This was going to work to Jack’s advantage. Jack waved for the kids to start following him. Specs was in the front and he was holding one of the smaller boys who didn’t look so good.

            “Alright, just be real quiet and run if I tell ya to,” Jack whispered.

            Specs nodded and sent the message down the line of boys. Jack nodded and he started to creep along the halls, pausing and listening every few steps. He heard boots and he scrambled to get all the boys hidden. He just barely missed being seen by diving into a shadowed corner, smooshing himself against Specs, the boy in Spec’s arms, and another boy. Jack waited, holding his breath, until the guard had passed and silence had settled for a minute. Jack kept going, but this time he was fidgety with nerves and rushing a little. He got the front door, locked, and messed with the lock. He swore in his head as he had trouble with it sticking. It was new and different than when Jack had picked it last time.

            “Everythin’ okay, Jack?” Specs asked just under a whisper.

            “Fine,” Jack breathed out. He got the door unlocked, but it was a loud click that sent Jack’s heart hammering against his chest. He could hear people coming to see what it was, so he threw open the door. “Run!” Jack shouted, heedless of the noise. The kids scrambled to get away and Jack gently shoved a few that needed a little push. Jack stood in front of the door as Specs, wanting to make sure his friends got out, started down the street.

            “I should have known thiswas you!” Snyder growled. “Go after them!” Snyder shouted to one of the guards. Jack shoved him back when he tried to leave the building. Jack needed to buy those kids just a little more time to get away.

            He couldn’t help the cry of pain when a nightstick smashed into the side of his face, splitting his chin open again with the force. Jack staggered and tripped over his feet, landing heavily on the floor. His arms ached but he didn’t have much time to think about it as a boot swung and kicked him hard in the stomach. Jack felt his stomach turn and he just barely had enough time to get up on his hands so that he could throw up what little was in his stomach. He was shaking as someone hauled him up and dragged him toward the basement.

            It was a room Jack was all too familiar with.

            It was just large enough for Jack to sit in if he curled his legs up to his chest. It must have been a broom closet or something, or maybe Snyder was just cruel enough to build such a place. Either way it was small, had no windows, and if it was summer, it was hot, and if it were winter it was freezing cold. Jack hated this place.

            His head hit the wall hard when he was tossed inside and then the door was locked behind him. Jack groaned and he slumped down so he could sit. Everything ached and he pressed his sleeve to his chin to try and stop the bleeding, despite the pain that it caused him.

            That night was a long night.

            In the morning they dragged him out and up to where they “fed” the kids their one meal a day. Jack slumped down in the chair and he drank down the water that was put in front of him. He could hear the other kids whispering around him, but he ignored it. It came with being one of the few, if not the only, person to escape from The Refuge more than once.

            Jack shifted and kept his head down while they served the food. They passed over Jack and Jack wasn’t all that surprised. If he didn’t have the energy, he couldn’t fight them. After the meal he was shoved back in the room by himself.

            He was in there for three days, he’s only pretty sure because he’s not completely sure they remembered to come get him for his meal of water every day.

            He was finally thrown back in a room with other boys. He decided that if he was going to get out, and he was going to if it killed him, he would have to do it alone. He hated it when he guiltily looked at the boys that were in the room with him, but he didn’t know what else to do. He felt like he could do more from the outside than from the inside.

            That night he wiggled out of the narrow window and climbed down the side of the building. He headed to the only place that he knew was completely safe: Miss Medda’s. He climbed up the fire escape, his scraped hands bleeding and stinging the whole way up, and slipped in through the window that Medda kept open for him.

            He made his way to Medda’s changing room, she wasn’t in but Jack could hear music filtering in so either she was rehearsing, or she was in the middle of a performance. She’d be back soon enough.

            Jack waited and he picked at the dirt on his shirt to try and freshen up a little for Miss Medda. She was a nice lady and Jack really liked her. She helped Jack out when he was in pinches like this and she never hesitated to help any of the other newsies that Jack might have trailing behind him.

            Jack was broken out of his thoughts when Miss Medda came in. She didn’t react other than a slight look of surprise. “What’ve you done now?” Medda asked, looking at Jack’s unusually dirty and bloodied face.

            “Snyder,” Jack said simply and shrugged. “Was bringin’ some food for the boys, he caught me and busted me up a little.”

            “More than a little, honey,” Medda said and moved over to look at the gash on Jack’s chin. “That’ll scar.”

            “So I’s been told,” Jack said.

            “You need to stay the night or just a few hours?” Medda asked and moved to her vanity so she could let her hair down. Jack remembered her saying the pins pricked and it gave her a headache. Jack moved over to the basin in the corner and washed his hands.

            “Just a few hours, Miss Medda. Gotta get back to the Lodging House or the boys’ll wonder where I’s been. I think it’s been a few days, but I’s not sure.”

            Medda hummed. Jack moved over to stand behind her. “I can get ‘em, Miss Medda,” Jack said and he moved to start pulling pins out. He’d seen it done quite a bit and he’d done it himself once or twice for some of the Bowery Beauties.

            Miss Medda nodded at him and smiled as he delicately plucked pins from her thick curls. He set them on her vanity and when he was done she kissed the cheek that wasn’t bruised. “Thank you, Jack.”

            “Anythin’ for you, Miss Medda.” Jack pushed his hair from his eyes. “And if they’s anythin’ I can do ta repa-”

            “You don’t have to repay me, Jack,” Miss Medda said and eyed him.

            “Alright,” Jack said and shifted on his feet. “But I ain’t a charity case.”

            “No, you’re not,” Medda smiled at him. “Go on and get to the Lodging House. The boys will worry, and the next time I see you I’ll have something that needs doing if that will make you feel better.” She took his hands in hers and swiped her thumbs over his battered knuckles.

            Jack nodded. Medda pulled him down for one last peck on the cheek before nodding toward the door. Jack sprinted out into the night and headed toward the Lodging House. He slipped inside and crept up to the dormitory where all the newsies slept.

            “Cowboy!” Race, a boy around a year younger than Jack, came up and threw his arms around Jack’s neck. Jack stumbled back a step and flinched. He knew that Race meant well, but he didn’t want to be touched, it was making his skin crawl.

            “Racer, get offa ‘im,” Crutchie said, a boy that was the same age as Race, and limped over. He pulled Race off Jack by the back of Race’s shirt. He gave Jack a small, knowing smile.

            “Where ya been, Cowboy?” Race asked and looked at the bruises and cuts on Jack’s face.

            “He’s been in The Refuge,” Crutchie said quietly in Race’s ear. Jack swallowed thickly and just pointed to where he could get to the roof. The room suddenly felt too close and loud with all the boys trying to ask him what had happened. Jack got up onto the roof and after a moment his stomach turned and he had to run to the edge to throw up into the alley below.

            He was shaking and leaning over so until his stomach started to settle. He felt a hand on his back and he was too tired to even do anything about it.

            “You alright, Cowboy?” It was Dottie, the gal in charge of all the newsies.

            “Yeah,” Jack choked out.

            “I heard what happened to you, you wanna talk about it?” Dottie asked and gently moved him away from the ledge to sit down where Jack’s blankets were piled up. Jack shook his head. “You need anythin’, Jack?” Dottie asked and gently pushed Jack’s hair away from his eyes.

            Jack shook his head and he laid down.

            “Alright, I’ll be down inside if you need me. Just yell.” Dottie ruffled his hair and moved to head back inside. Jack curled himself into his blankets and buried his face in them to breathe in the comforting scent of the Lodge.

…..

            It took Jack a day to be able to get up and be around the others again. It always seemed too loud and too close. He swiped the back of his hand over his chin. It was scabbed over and so he just had to defy the temptation to pick at it.

            Whenever things got bad, Crutchie would ward the other kids off. It seemed like after Jack got out, Crutchie was at his side and making everyone else leave him alone. Even after Jack felt better and could sleep inside, though he still preferred the rooftop, Crutchie was at his side. He quickly became Jack’s best friend. So Jack took Crutchie to Miss Medda’s theatre.

            It was in the right after the evening rush, both Jack and Crutchie having sold all of their papes for the day, so they headed to the theatre. Jack grinned and showed Crutchie in through the front. He usually used the back but he knew that it’d be hard for Crutchie to climb up the fire escape.

            Jack made his way back to Miss Medda’s room and knocked on her door before they walked in. “Jack Kelly, as I live and breathe.” Miss Medda walked over and hugged Jack tightly. Jack smiled and he hugged her back just as fiercely. “How are you, baby?”

            “I’m good,” Jack said.

            “And who is this?” Medda asked and looked over Jack’s shoulder to Crutchie.

            “Miss Medda, this is Crutchie. We sell togetha now,” Jack said and grinned between them.

            “It’s nice to meet you, Crutchie,” Medda said.

            “Pleasure’s all mine ma’am,” Crutchie said and smiled back.

            “So, Jack,” Medda said. “I have found something for you to do, if you like.”

            “What’s that Miss Medda?” Jack asked.

            “I have some backdrops that need to be made. I noticed you like to draw, and we’ve got all the supplies you could ever want,” Medda said. “Let me show you.”

            Jack and Crutchie followed Medda to one of the few back rooms that Jack had never been in. He sucked in a sharp breath as he took in the studio. It was relatively small but to Jack it was huge. There was a table scattered with paints and brushes, there were the large canvases for the backdrops, and there was a step ladder so Jack could reach everything.

            “It’s yours if you wanna paint for me, Jack,” Medda said.

            Jack bit his lip, thinking. He wanted to pay Miss Medda back, but he felt like he was taking advantage. “I dunno…”

            “Jack’re you crazy? You gotta! You could be a real, gen-u-ine artist in here,” Crutchie said and nudged Jack.

            “I’ll have ta think about it Miss Medda,” Jack said quietly. Medda nodded.

            “Of course, but it’d be an awful shame for you to waste all that talent you got by just hawkin’ papes until you get too old,” Medda said and leveled Jack with a look.

            Jack started painting for Medda the next week.


	2. People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has changed from being a child on the run from Snyder into being a young adult who's the head of the Manhattan newsies (although he's still running from Snyder). He feels he has a solid place in the Lodging House and in Miss Medda's theatre. Now he just finds himself grasping at the people around him and trying to see how they fit into his life.

                Jack had been in (and out of) The Refuge seven times now. He was only fourteen years and he’d been locked up that many times.

            Jack was also now the leader of the newsies. Jack wasn’t too sure how that’d happened, but one day Dottie had gathered all the newsies together and told them she wasn’t going to waste the rest of her life hawking papes. She’d found another, better job and she was leaving. Some of the younger boys and girls had started bawling, but the older kids had just nodded resolutely, though most of them (Jack included) were choking back tears (Jack would soak anybody other than Crutchie and maybe Race if they ever said so).

            Jack still liked sleeping outside up on the rooftop when it wasn’t too cold. He’d spent too long crammed into rooms with lots of other kids. Granted, the Lodging House had a lot more space and every kid had their own bed, but inside sometimes made his skin crawl.

            Jack rubbed a thumb over the scar on his chin and suppressed a shudder.

            “What’s goin’ on, Jack?” Crutchie asked and shuffled awkwardly to sit down. Jack had offered to help him so many times but Crutchie would get all worked up, so now Jack just left him to it unless he might hurt himself.

            “Nothin’,” Jack said and dropped his hand quickly, guiltily. Crutchie was his best friend, but there were some things he had to keep to himself. Crutchie looked at him skeptically, but he didn’t push.

            “Should come inside, gonna get cold out here tonight,” Crutchie said but made no move to get up or move himself.

            “I should, but I probably ain’t gonna,” Jack shrugged.

            “Then I’ll stay out here wit’ ya,” Crutchie said and bumped their shoulders. Jack leaned into the touch but looked down at his lap, a little ashamed of how much he wanted the light contact.

            “Nah, you’ll catch your death out ‘ere, let’s get inside,” Jack said and pushed himself to his feet. The smile on Crutchie’s face spelled out that this what exactly what he’d been hoping for. Jack rolled his eyes but he could feel a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. When he and Crutchie had gotten inside, Jack moved to pull himself into his bunk. He watched from his perch as the kids all got ready for bed and moved into their bunks. Jack couldn’t sleep until he saw the kids settled. Jack was spaced out until he felt someone tug on his pant leg. He jerked but he forced himself to relax as Boots looked up at him, his wide eyes flickering around nervously. “What?”

            “Jack, I can’t sleep,” Boots said quietly, twisting the hem of his undershirt in his hands. Jack sighed and slipped from his bunk to kneel down so he could look into Boots’s eyes.

            “Want me to tuck ya in?” Jack asked, not sure what else to do. Boots was only around four years old and Jack felt bad for him. Boots nodded and so Jack forced a smile. Jack scooped Boots up and carried him over to Boots’s bunk that was nestled under Sniper’s. Mush rolled over and rubbed at his eyes but Jack just shook his head so Mush rolled back over and burrowed closer to Blink. Jack tucked Boots in and smoothed out the threadbare blanket. “How’s that?”

            “Good,” Boots said around a yawn.

            Jack just nodded and smiled at him before making his way back to his own bunk, stripping off his vest. He hung it on the corner post of the bunk before he pulled off his shirt. He’d given his undershirt to Racer because Race had decided to shoot up practically a foot this summer and nothing he had fit anymore.

            Jack pulled himself into his bunk and he felt someone’s eyes on him. He glanced over to see Crutchie watching him, his cheeks flushed, from the bottom bunk. Jack felt awkward so he used his only coping mechanism: flirting. He winked at Crutchie. “Likin’ what you see?”

            Crutchie scowled at him and tried to hide his blush with his blanket. “Shuddup.”

            Jack laughed and he wrapped himself into his blanket and went to relax. He listened to the quiet noises of the kids around him: some shuffling, rustling with their blankets, snoring, and it made Jack feel content instead of grating on him. He fell asleep easily.

…..

            Jack was running, he didn’t know why but he was and his chest was aching with it. He could hear people behind him and he could practically feel their breath on the back of his neck. He felt tears burning at his eyes and he struggled to keep up the distance between himself and whoever was chasing him.

            He jerked awake and he was shaking as he pushed himself up. He was covered in sweat and he felt his stomach churning. He jumped down and rushed away and up so that he could get into the open space of the rooftop. He sucked in a large lungful of air and shut his eyes, trying to calm his heartbeat.

            “Jack?” Jack jumped at his name and whirled around to see Crutchie holding Jack’s shirt. Some of the older boys were clustered around the doorway, looking at Jack with wide, concerned eyes. “You okay?”

            “Yeah, just needed some air,” Jack said and forced a smile, but it seemed more like a grimace.

            “You’s shakin’, Jack,” Crutchie said gently and moved to place a gently hand on Jack’s trembling arm. Jack jerked away with a flinch. “Here, it’s cold out ‘ere,” Crutchie said and held out Jack’s shirt. Jack nodded and he slipped it on. He avoided the boys’ eyes by buttoning up his shirt and smoothing out the permanent wrinkles to no avail. “You wanna talk ‘bout it?”

            Jack shrugged and he looked up at the sky and what he could see of the stars. “Just a… was just a nightmare. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

            “Nightmare ‘bout what?” Mush asked. Crutchie shook his head from where he was standing next to Jack, their shoulders not touching but close enough that Jack shifting his weight would make it so they were. Jack shifted so that his and Crutchie’s shoulders were pressed together. He needed the touch.

            “It’s okay, Crutchie,” Jack said before looking at the boys clustered around the door. “I was bein’ chased by Snyder and his goons,” Jack said quietly, his voice rough. He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

            “It wasn’t real, Jack,” Race said softly as Crutchie leaned into Jack and rubbed his back.

            “I know, but it’s happened so many times that it really felt real,” Jack’s voice cracked and he shut his eyes tightly.

            “You’s alright, Jack,” Crutchie said and leaned his head on Jack’s shoulder. “None of us is eve’ gonna let you go back there.” Jack smiled a little at Crutchie’s statement. He knew that none of the boys could really protect him, but it was nice to know they’d be willing to try. “Why don’tcha come back inside, Jack? We’ll get ya all settled again. Can even bunk wit’ me if you wanna.”

            “Really?” Jack asked, a little surprised at the offer. It wasn’t that it was an uncommon offer from Crutchie, just never to Jack. Crutchie would curl up with some of the newsies who had nightmares, were cold, or just needed to sleep with someone next to them.

            “Yeah, c’mon.” Crutchie started to tug on Jack’s hand and they made their way to Crutchie’s bunk. Crutchie laid down and Jack hesitated. He didn’t want all the other boys to see him clinging to Crutchie like a baby. Crutchie waited patiently as Jack hung his shirt on his own bunk to give the boys time to settle back down again. When they had, Jack moved to slip into bed beside Crutchie, mindful of his leg.

            Once Jack had settled, Crutchie hesitantly reached his hand out so he could smooth Jack’s hair back away from his eyes. Jack leaned into the touch and Crutchie smiled as he let his fingers trace down Jack’s face and then rest on the back of his neck to play with the baby curls there. Jack took a moment before he moved forward suddenly and kissed Crutchie. It was chaste, just a press of their mouths, but it made Jack’s stomach warm in the weirdest but nicest way.

            Crutchie smiled at Jack when Jack pulled back. “Go to sleep, Jack.” Crutchie kissed Jack’s forehead. Jack settled and he fell asleep to Crutchie running his fingers through Jack’s hair soothingly.

…..

            Jack had lived through a lot.

            He’d lived through his many trips in and out of The Refuge, he’d lived through breaking up with Crutchie (though Crutchie was still his best friend), through poverty and hunger, and then through the strike and all the hell that had brought.

            Jack let Katherine lead him away after he bought his papes and shoved them into his bag. Jack was very familiar with the shadowed corners of _The World_ ’s circulation area. He used to duck into them with Crutchie or whatever girl or boy had caught his fancy for the week. Katherine smiled at him as he leaned back against the wall. “We won,” Jack said quietly, a little in awe.

            “You did,” Katherine said and smoothed her hands down the front of his shirt. “Now what are you going to do?” It was asked lightly, innocently, but Jack could see that there was a challenge in her words and eyes.

            “’M gonna kiss ya again,” Jack said and ducked his head to kiss her softly. She was pliant and Jack pulled away after a moment, just taking in her smile. “I gotta go.” Jack looked out toward the yard where the rest of the boys were getting their papers and moving on.

            “I know you do.” Katherine’s voice was graver than Jack thought it should be.

            “You could come by the Lodge late’,” Jack offered and slipped his hand into hers.

            “I’d like that,” she said and brought his hand up to gently press a kiss to his knuckles.

            The day passed pretty quickly and at the end Jack didn’t have any papes left. He made sure all the boys were squared away before he stepped outside and settled to sit on the stoop. He reached into the cuff of his shirt-sleeve and pulled out the cigarette he’d plied from Blink. He reached into his boot and pulled out his matchbook.

            He sat, soaking in the quiet and smoking as he waited for Katherine. He heard the distinct noise of heeled shoes on the cobblestones and like an angel, she suddenly appeared in the haze of the gas lamps.

            Jack smiled at her but she was frowning slightly. “You smoke?” Katherine asked as she moved to sit down next to him, waving her hand to dispel the smoke that lingered around them.

            “Sometimes,” Jack admitted and stubbed out his cigarette. He put it back into the fold of his shirt sleeve. He tucked his matchbook back into his boot and nodded back toward the door. “You wanna head up into the penthouse?”

            Katherine laughed at Jack’s nickname for the roof. “I’d like that.”

            Jack held out his hand and she tangled their fingers together before they headed upstairs, the other newsies whistling and giving Jack meaningful looks. Jack flipped them off over his shoulder before he headed out into the open of the roof.

            “Welcome back to my penthouse, Miss Plumber,” Jack grinned and moved to sit on the ledge of the building above the alley.

            “The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Kelly,” Katherine said and she moved to sit down next to him, her hand covering his.

            Jack honestly felt like he could feel a spark run up his arm at her touch. But he also had no idea what to say to her. There was little to nothing that he thought they could talk about. Up until this point they’d only ever talked about the strike, but now they couldn’t do that.

            Katherine seemed to be coming to the same conclusion.

            “So,” Katherine said quietly, playing with Jack’s fingers. “What now?”

            “I dunno,” Jack said.

            “No plans for the future?” Katherine asked and there was both a teasing and an edge to it.

            “What future?” Jack asked, laughing a little more bitterly than he’d wanted to. “They ain’t futures for guys like me. I’m gonna sell papes ‘til I’s too old, then I’m gonna find another job.” Jack shrugged.

            Katherine frowned at him before she watched their entwined hands. “Is that what you _want_ , Jack?”

            “Katherine,” Jack said quietly and tilted her chin up so that she had to meet his eyes. “That’s my only option.”

            “You could paint for Miss Medda’s theatre,” Katherine insisted and squeezed his hand.

            “I ain’t takin’ any o’ Miss Medda’s money. I paint for her because I like ta. She can’t afford to pay me,” Jack said seriously.

            “It just seems a waste of your talent!” Katherine said and Jack jerked his hand out of hers.

            “Katherine, I know that we’s livin’ in different worlds, but someday you’s gonna have to realize it ain’t that easy for everybody else!” Jack snapped as he got up and started pacing. “Not everybody gets to have the job they want!” The unspoken _like you_ was heavy between them as Jack and Katherine glared at each other.

            Katherine walked over and Jack braced himself to be slapped but she just pulled him in and kissed him. It was a lot like when they’d fought up here the last time. Except this time it was more intense. Katherine was focused on something and after a moment, her hands started to unbutton Jack’s vest and he knew exactly where this was going to go.

            Jack covered her hands to still them and pulled back. “Katherine… I don’t-”

            “Just- Jack, I-” Katherine bit her lip.

            “You ain’t the only girl I’s been wit’,” Jack said bluntly. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings but he had to tell her. “And… I’s been wit’ boys too.” Jack bit his lip. He was risking a lot by telling her this, but he trusted her.

            Katherine blinked. “Oh,” she said quietly. She didn’t sound angry, just a little surprised. Jack bit his lip. She seemed to need a moment to process. “Okay,” she said softly and tapped her fingers against Jack’s chest.

            Jack waited, not sure what to do or to say.

            “Jack,” Katherine said and smiled at him. “It’s alright.” She got on her toes and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

            “Yeah,” Jack said and he took a step away, letting his hands drop from hers.

            “But I think it’s late and that I should go,” Katherine said softly.

            “Yeah,” Jack repeated and looked at his scuffed boots.

            “We’ll talk more about this later?” Katherine asked and Jack nodded. “Goodnight, Jack.”

            “’Night, Katherine,” Jack said quietly.

…..

            Jack and Katherine weren’t meant to last.

            Jack was sure that he’d known that for a while, but that didn’t make it sting any less when she was gone. Well, she wasn’t exactly gone but she didn’t come around as often and she avoided Jack if she could get away with it.

            Jack scratched the back of his head as he watched her playing a game of tag with the younger newsies. They were laughing and screeching as they dodged each other. Jack sunk down in his seat and after a moment he balled up the scratch sheet of paper he’d been drawing on and tossed it under one of the bunks.

            “Okay, Jackie?” Davey asked and moved to pull himself up into Jack’s bunk next to him.

            “Yeah,” Jack said and grinned. He looked at the window and the way the light was fading. “Should I walk ya home? Gettin’ late and I don’t want your folks ta worry.”

            Davey nodded. “Yeah, probably should be going.”

            “C’mon,” Jack said and jumped down. He pulled his suspenders back onto his shoulders without replacing his overshirt, it was warm enough he wouldn’t need it, before he placed his hat on top of his messy hair.

            “I’m coming,” Davey said and tucked his hat into his back pocket after he’d hopped down.

            They walked out and it was quiet as they walked toward the Jacobs’s apartment. Jack stood on the steps but Davey stopped before he entered his building. “You know it’ll be okay, Jack. Right?”

            “O’ course, Dave. You don’t need to worry ‘bout me,” Jack said and waved his hand. “You know me, it ain’t like anyone keeps my interest too long.” Davey didn’t seem too pleased by that.

            “Alright,” Davey said and Jack frowned at the way that Davey seemed almost hurt by what Jack said. “Goodnight, Jackie.” Davey smiled at him and waved.

            “’Night, Dave,” Jack said softly.

            Jack lit a cigarette and smoked it silently as he walked back to the lodge. Sometimes he hated walking the streets alone. It gave him too much time to think. He was thankful when he was tucked back into the warm chaos of the lodge.

            “Where’s Katherine?” Jack asked, noticing that she was gone.

            “Romeo and Specs’re walkin’ ‘er home,” Race said and patted Jack’s shoulder. “Davey get home alright?”

            “Yeah,” Jack said distractedly and he moved to get into bed. He felt exhausted and he just wanted to get some sleep. Slowly the kids wound down and went to sleep, but despite Jack being tired, he found himself thinking too much.

            He thought about Crutchie, just a bunk away, and how he’d screwed up their relationship. Crutchie had been sweet and kind, but he didn’t like that Jack flirted to sell papes. So they’d taken some time away from each other, and then they’d just broken apart. They were still tactile with each other, they still exchanged cheek and head kisses, and when Jack’s nightmares got really bad sometimes he’d spend a night curled up in Crutchie’s bunk, but they both knew that they were better as friends. They were just close and comfortable being that way with each other.

            He thought about Katherine and how that had turned out. After they’d spoken on the rooftop there had been other fights and kisses and more. Jack shifted as he thought of the times where Katherine’s nimble fingers, quick on the typewriter, had slipped under Jack’s clothes, and he’d hitched up her skirts to let his own hands explore. It’d never really gone any farther than that, but it also hadn’t been much more than that. They came from really different worlds and sometimes that gap was just too hard to breach.

            Then Jack thought of Davey. They’d gotten really close in such a short amount of time. Davey made Jack’s ideas sound smart and he helped Jack to see a better way. Davey was the exact example of what all the newsies could be if they had the opportunity. Jack felt his stomach get warm. Thinking about Davey made Jack smile and he couldn’t help it.

            Jack rolled over onto his stomach and sighed heavily into his pillow. He couldn’t think about all that. He needed to get some sleep or else he’d be dead on his feet in the morning when the bell rang.

…..

            Jack grinned and waved at Davey as the other came walking up to Jack’s spot, Les trailing behind him. “Hey, Davey,” Jack said and handed half his papers to Davey, Davey handed a portion of them to Les.

            Davey’s smile lit Jack up like a Miss Medda’s marquee.

            “So,” Davey said after they’d sold most of their papes, Les having wandered down the street a little to try and get some other people to buy from them. “Would it be alright if I stayed at the lodge tonight? I thought I’d get an early start with the rest of you.”

            Jack’s heart pattered against the inside of his ribs. He couldn’t explain why and he hated that Davey suddenly looked uncertain now that Jack’s silence was dragging on. “Yeah, o’ course. We’ll getcha squared away.” Jack nodded and he had to leave the conversation there so he could sell a paper to a girl that was passing by. He flirted with her and smiled real charmingly and she handed him a nickel, a pretty blush coloring her cheeks. When Jack handed Davey the money, Davey had a sour look on his face. “What?”

            “Nothing,” Davey said and pocketed the money with a little more force than necessary.

            “What?” Jack asked with a frown.

            “Just drop it, Jack,” Davey said shortly. Jack blinked at Davey and frowned. He moved a little ways away and continued to openly flirt with the girls and subtly flirt with some of the younger men that walked by.

            Jack could practically hear Davey grinding his teeth.

            As the sun went down and they finished selling the evening edition, Jack walked with Davey and Les so that Les could head up into the Jacobs’s apartment, then Jack and Davey headed toward the lodge. There was a tense silence between them.

            When they got to the steps of the lodge they divided their money and Jack paid for Davey’s lodging out of his share. Jack made sure all the newsies were accounted for, getting Race’s message from Romeo that he was staying in Brooklyn, and then Jack moved to his own bunk. He nodded to the one under it. “This one’s empty if you want it,” Jack said to Davey. It was Race’s bunk, but Race spent more nights in Brooklyn than he did in Manhattan nowadays.

            Davey just nodded tensely and moved to take his hat and vest off and toss them onto the bunk. Jack stripped his shirts off, already feeling too hot with the added heat of all the boys in the room.

            Jack was surprised to catch Davey staring. It wasn’t like Davey had never seen him without… well. Now that Jack thought about it, he wasn’t sure that Davey _had_ seen him without at least his undershirt on. Jack immediately straightened up and tensed up, making his muscles stand out.

            He knew it was ridiculous for him to be posturing like that, but Davey’s eyes immediately flicked down to Jack’s abdomen and he bit his lip. Jack grinned a little and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from letting it grow too much.

            “Davey? Somethin’ I can do for ya?” Jack asked.

            Davey’s eyes flicked back up to Jack’s and his face turned quite red. “Uh… no?” Davey choked out and moved to unbutton his shirt. “Just thinking about how it’s really warm in here,” Davey muttered as he pulled his shirt off, hanging it up on the same corner post where Jack’s was, and putting his suspenders back on his shoulders. Jack nodded distractedly as he let his eyes roam over Davey in his undershirt.

            “Yeah…” Jack said distractedly and then flushed as he realized what he’d just let slip.

            Davey and Jack just stared at each other before Jack coughed and moved to start seeing what the others were up to. Jack had to close the door to keep Smalls and Henry from running out into the street, much to the complaint of the rest of the newsies because it was so damn hot.

            “If yous’d keep a betta eye on the lit’l ‘uns, I wouldn’t have ta close the door,” Jack said and gave them all stern looks. The older kids muttered to themselves but none of them offered to keep an eye on the younger ones so the door stayed shut.

            Unfortunately that lead to tempers being as hot as the temperature. Jack had to break up arguments between Albert and Finch, Romeo and Mush, and Sniper and Smalls. Jack was starting to get irritated as he tossed Smalls back into her bunk with a stern glare. “Knock it off!” Jack shouted. “All of yous!” Jack suddenly felt trapped with the way all the newsies were looking at him. With the cramped quarters, the amount of kids, and the stinking heat, it reminded Jack too much of the Refuge. He needed to get out.

            He darted up onto the roof and sucked in a lungful of air. He felt a little better because at least on the roof there was a breeze. His hands were shaking so he clenched them tightly to keep them from shaking so visibly.

            “You okay?” Jack turned to see Davey and Crutchie standing in the doorway, Crutchie shifting on his feet anxiously.

            “’M fine, just needed a little fresh air. Too… too cramped ‘s all,” Jack said.

            “They’s gonna open up the windows,” Crutchie said in a soothing voice. Though he was much more optimistic than Jack had ever been, he still looked a little fidgety too. Jack knew Crutchie was probably feeling the same stomach churning, blind panic that Jack was because Crutchie had been locked up in the Refuge too.

            “Good, maybe then they’ll all quit actin’ like animals,” Jack’s’ voice was strained and shaky and he noticed his hands were trembling violently when he raised his hand to push his hair away from his eyes.

            Apparently Davey noticed too because he had concern etched into his features as he watched Jack carefully.

            “Why don’t you sleep up in the penthouse tonight, Jack? It’s a little too hot in there and I’ll keep an eye on the othe’s,” Crutchie offered. After his stint in the Refuge it’d been harder for Crutchie to sleep in the little nest of blankets that he and Jack curled up in on the rooftop. His leg would bother him really badly and it’d keep the both of them awake.

            “You ain’t gotta do that, Crutch,” Jack said quietly and nervously picked at his nails.

            “I know,” Crutchie said and then he turned to head back down into their bedroom.

            Jack’s shoulders slumped and he felt like the string holding him up had been cut. He shuffled over to the blankets and nearly collapsed in them.

            “Jack…” Davey said softly and when Jack opened his eyes (he didn’t remember closing them), Davey was kneeling next to him. “What happened down there?”

            Jack tensed up. “Nothin’,” Jack said quickly. Too quickly.

            “That wasn’t nothing,” Davey said and he settled next to Jack so their shoulders were touching. Davey bumped Jack’s foot with his leg. “What’s going on?”

            Jack shifted so he could look at Davey. He’d never really gotten a good look at Davey this close, but he sure was glad he was getting to now. Davey’s hair had the softest curl to it and he had such pretty, long eyelashes. He even had light freckles peppering the bridge of his nose and his cheeks. He was pretty and he made Jack’s hands itch for a piece of paper.

            It struck him: he wanted to kiss Davey.

            “Jack?” Davey’s voice brought Jack out of his own head and he was met with Davey’s warm brown eyes looking at him with a furrow in his brow.

            “I was just…” Jack had to flick his eyes down to the little stain on Davey’s undershirt. “I was thinkin’ ‘bout the Refuge.”

            “Why?”

            “’Cuz the Lodge was remindin’ me of it,” Jack said wryly. “It was so stinkin’ hot, and it felt like they’s too many kids in t’ere,” Jack shuddered involuntarily, “and I felt like I was gettin’ smothered, Dave. It was like… I couldn’t breathe or nothin’. So I had ta get out.” Jack picked at the paint under his nails to avoid Davey’s eyes.

            “I’m sorry.”

            Jack’s head jerked up to look Davey in the eye. Davey’s eyes were so pretty. But Jack didn’t understand.

            “Why? It ain’t like you’s the one that locked me up,” Jack tried for a laugh but it came out more like a pained noise in the back of his throat. “It ‘appened and I don’t wanna think on it no more.”

            “Okay,” Davey said and he shifted so that they weren’t touching anymore.

            Jack frowned at the loss of contact. He wasn’t going to make Davey touch him, that’d be weird and wrong and just no, but he missed Davey’s solid warmth at his side even though Davey was barely three inches away from him.

            “You ain’t gotta sit out here wit’ me,” Jack said quietly after a long stretch of silence. “I know the bunks is more comfortable than this.”

            “I know,” Davey said but he made no move to get up or to move away from Jack.

            “You’s weird,” Jack said and he did laugh a little.

            “So’re you,” Davey said and turned to look at Jack with a wide smile. Jack was grinning too but after a second it slowly faded and his eyes flickered down to Davey’s mouth.

            Now Jack’s never been one to think anything through, but he hesitated. Usually he’d have just kissed Davey and seen where it went, but Davey was different. Jack didn’t know how, but he was different.

            “What’re you thinking?” Davey whispered.

            “’Bout doin’ somethin’ stupid,” Jack said honestly. And while he wanted to kiss Davey, he did think that ruining their friendship over it would be a stupid idea.

            “Oh yeah?” Davey asked. “What kind of ‘doing something stupid’?”

            Jack hesitated for just a second and he brought his eyes back up to Davey’s. “The kind where you kiss somebody that you ain’t sure wanna be kissed by you ‘cuz you’s friends.”

            Jack’s heart hammered against his ribs as Davey blinked rapidly, taking in what Jack said.

            “That’s funny,” Davey said quietly.

            “Why’s that?”

            “Because I was just thinking the same thing.”

            Jack’s stomach flipped and he decided to fuck it all. He leaned forward and kissed Davey soundly. Jack pulled back and shifted so that they didn’t have to crane their necks. Then he grinned at Davey and kissed him again.

            Jack could feel the little thread of hesitation when Davey kissed him and so he pulled away, keeping himself propped up on his arms, and looked at Davey. “Everythin’ alright, Davey?” Jack didn’t want Davey to be kissing him just because Jack kissed him first. He wanted Davey to want to kiss him.

            “Yeah,” Davey said immediately, reaching up to cradle Jack’s face gently. “I just…” Davey bit his lip awkwardly. “I’ve never kissed another boy before. I’ve only ever really kissed one person.”

            “Really? There weren’t no pretty girls that wanted to kiss ya? I don’t believe that,” Jack said and grinned at him.

            Davey’s face turned red. “I kissed Annie Stein on the steps of the school once,” Davey admitted and shook his head. “I was fifteen and kissing her made me realize I didn’t want to be kissing girls. And I never really met any boys that wanted to kiss me, so…” Davey fiddled with the collar of his shirt nervously.

            “Well,” Jack said, “I’m a boy, and I sure as hell wanna keep kissin’ ya.” That made Davey laughed and he smoothed Jack’s hair away from his eyes.

            “Alright then,” Davey said though there was an undercurrent of nerves in his voice.

            “We ain’t gotta now, if you’s nervous,” Jack said and shifted a little to give Davey some more space.

            “I just-” Davey bit his lip and looked away from Jack for a second, “I just want it to be good… for you.” Davey swallowed thickly and Jack waited as Davey put his words together. “I know you’ve kissed a lot of people, probably done… _other stuff_ with people, but I-uh , well- I haven’t so-” Davey’s face was bright red when Jack interrupted him.

            “Davey,” Jack said gently. “You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout it so much. You can’t really do kissin’ wrong,” Jack assured. He’d had some kisses where he and his partner had knocked teeth or bumped noses before, but that wasn’t so bad and after a while it becomes second nature to avoid stuff like that. “And as for that _other stuff_ ,” Jack said and he felt his cheeks getting a little hot, “we ain’t there yet anyway. And I ain’t eve’ gonna make you do nothin’ you don’t wanna do. Alright?”

            “Okay,” Davey said and he seemed to relax a little.

            “Can I keep kissin’ you or do you wanna stop?” Jack asked.

            Davey just gave Jack a small, shy smile before he hooked his arms around Jack’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Jack grinned into it as he cupped Davey’s cheek and shifted closer again.

…..

            Jack grinned as he waved at Davey from where he was picking him up from school. It’d become his routine to stand outside Davey’s school for around an hour before school let out, still selling his papes, and wait for Davey so they could go do something.

            Jack had never though outside the school would be a good selling spot but it was. Some of Davey’s teachers and even Davey’s classmates bought papes from him once the bell rang and they were all leaving. Jack sent a wink to a girl that had bought a paper from him as he tucked her nickel into his pocket.

            By the time Davey had managed to get to Jack’s side, Jack only had two papers left so he shoved them into his satchel and they both started walking down the street. They didn’t hold hands like they did at the Lodge, it was strange to see two boys their age holding hands, but they walked with their shoulders brushing as Jack listened to Davey talk about what he’d heard his school.

            “And then Michael stood up and… I’m boring you aren’t I?” Davey asked, cutting himself off in the middle of a story.

            “Not at all, I like hearin’ your voice,” Jack said and it was only by sheer force a will that he didn’t kiss Davey right there on the street.

            “But school must seem so boring to you,” Davey said.

            “I dunno, I neve’ been,” Jack said and Davey stopped walking.

            “What?”

            “What?” Jack asked back. “I thought ya knew that, Dave.”

            “No, I didn’t,” Davey said. “How’d you learn to read if you’ve never been to school?”

            Jack flushed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh.. well- thing is,” Jack sputtered for a second. “Miss Medda taught me when I was young. Just enough to get by on… but, I don’t actually read too good.” It was something that Jack was a little embarrassed by. He knew enough to decipher the headlines every morning, but he couldn’t sit down and read the papes that he was selling.

            “Jack-”

            “I wonder what Jacobi’s gonna have for dinner tonight,” Jack said, not wanting to talk about it anymore. He loved that Davey got to opportunity to go to school like a normal kid, but Jack couldn’t deny that he didn’t burn a little with jealousy.

            Davey bit his lip and they kept walking, but the subject hung heavy over them as Jack bought them something to eat. Jack put his sandwich into his satchel and sold his last papes as they walked back to the Lodge.

            They hung out with the other newsies for a bit before sneaking up to the penthouse to be alone for a bit.

            Jack was sketching Davey while he did his homework, but there was tension between them that was nearly palpable.

            Davey snapped his book shut. “Jack, can we please talk about this?”

            “No, Dave,” Jack said without looking up from his drawing.

            “I wasn’t trying to embarrass you,” Davey insisted. He set his book aside and moved over to where Jack was sitting, kneeling between Jack’s sprawled out legs. “I just did’t know and before I’d thought about it the question came out.”

            “Davey, I really don’t wanna talk about it,” Jack grumbled.

            “I’m trying to apologize because I-”

            Jack cut Davey off by kissing him hard on the mouth.

            Jack was surprised when Davey shoved him back by the shoulders and wiped his mouth. “Don’t do that!” Davey’s apologetic frown had melted away to an angry scowl.

            “Do what? Kiss ya?” Jack asked, getting angry as well.

            “Try to ignore everything!” Davey shouted. “I’m not one of your stupid floozies that you can distract with a kiss and a pretty smile!”

            Jack blinked. “That ain’t-”

            “Yes, it is!” Davey snapped. “You’re trying to avoid talking to me by kissing me to shut me up.” Davey scowled and he stood, stomping over to his book and grabbing it and his hat up.

            “Where ya goin’?” Jack asked, scrambling up.

            “I’m going home, it’s getting late, Davey grumbled, most of the bite gone out of his voice.

            “Davey, please,” Jack said and he wanted to reach for Davey but they both just stood there, looking at each other helplessly.

            “Why can’t you just _talk_ to me?” Davey asked quietly. “I know you’ve had it hard, but sometimes I guess I just don’t realize how hard. Okay? I’m sorry.”

            “I’m not… I’m not upset wit’ you,” Jack said and took a small step forward. “It’s… it’s embarrassin’, Davey. Most guys my age can siddown and read anythin’ they wanna.” Jack shrugged helplessly. “I gots all I can do ta read the headline in the mornin’.” Jack took a deep breath and he sat down and gestured for Davey to sit between his legs. Davey frowned but he set his book down and sat where Jack wanted him to, his back pressed against Jack’s chest.

            Jack hooked his chin over Davey’s shoulder, his arms around Davey’s waist, before he continued. “My old man couldn’t read at all, Dave,” Jack said quietly into Davey’s neck. “And he didn’t want his kid thinkin’ he was smarte’ than his old man, so he didn’t never send me to school.”

            “That’s horrible,” Davey said quietly.

            “It’s what it was,” Jack said. “My mothe’ tried to teach me a little, but my fathe’ got so mad at ‘er when we got caught at it. So eventually my fathe’ finally took all the books o’ my mothe’s and threw ‘em out. Tossed ‘em right in the trash.” Jack took a shuddering breath as he remembered the bright anger on his father’s face. “Soon afte’ that my mothe’ got sick, she died and my fathe’ weren’t the same.” Jack shrugged. “He didn’t go to work anymore, he didn’t care ‘bout nothin’ no more. So I… I left. I joined the newsies and I’ve lived ‘ere eve’ since.”

            “What happened to your father?” Davey asked quietly after a few seconds of silence.

            “’E died,” Jack said. “Dunno what of, but I neve’ saw ‘im again. I ended up hearin’ it from one of the papes. His name was in the section for dead people.”

            “The obituaries,” Davey said.

            “Yeah, them. One of the older kids saw my last name and asked if I knew ‘im. I lied and said I didn’t but that day I went and cried in an alley for nearly the whole day.”

            “I’m sorry,” Davey said and turned his head to press a kiss to Jack’s temple.

            “It was a long time ago,” Jack said stiffly and buried his face further into Davey’s neck. “But none o’ the boys knows none of that. Not even Crutchie. So don’t say nothin’, please.”

            “I won’t,” Davey said and he shifted so that he could easily face Jack. Davey tilted Jack’s chin up and kissed him so softly that Jack felt everything in him ache. When Davey pulled back he pressed light kisses to Jack’s cheeks until Jack smiled a little.

            “I love you.”

            It was out of Jack’s mouth before he really knew what he was saying.

            “What’d you say?” Davey asked, blinking owlishly at Jack.

            Jack felt his stomach knot up and his chest flutter in panic. “Nothin’. I didn’t say nothin’.”

            “No, Jack. What’d you say,” Davey said and he shifted so that he was facing Jack completely, his legs bracketing Jack’s hips and his hands on Jack’s shoulders, successfully keeping him in place.

            Jack bit his lip. “I said… I love you.”

            Davey smiled brightly and he leaned in and kissed Jack. It was so fierce and so hot that Jack’s brain whited out for a second as Davey pressed as close as possible.

            “I love you too,” Davey said against Jack’s mouth when they broke apart.

            Jack grinned as he moved to settle his hands on Davey’s hips. After a second to catch their breath, Jack kissed Davey again and again.

            And later that night when they were tangled together in Jack’s bunk, after Jack asked Davey if it was alright, they did some _other stuff_ too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like how this turned out. There are some things about Jack that as I was writing just came to mind (like the story about his mother and father) and I liked how they fit. Jack does some things that I think are pretty reckless and stupid, but Jack is flawed like that so cut him some slack, he's doing his best here.  
> As always, comment and tell me what you thought!   
> -James

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little snapshot about some thoughts I had about the Refuge and Jack's time there. That and I was musing about how Jack and Medda met. So here it is!  
> -James


End file.
